not déjà vu

Sometimes I know things before they happen. Or before I should know they have happened.

What do you call that? Prophecy? Second sight? Time travel?

I knew the phone would ring. I knew it would be her, the neighbor.

I knew one of our windshields would crack soon, then you sent me that picture.

I knew when you lied to me, even before I discovered the evidence.

What can I do with an inconsistent gift such as this? Does it have a purpose? Am I learning to trust it now because it will be important later?

Intuition isn't a strong enough word.

new words

This months book club selection was up to me. I had a book picked out but after a chance meeting in a coffee shop with a stranger I choose The Night Circus instead. 

I decided that this time I would look up every word I didn't know instead of skimming over it - skimming has become my terrible, terrible habit. Usually I use the surrounding sentences or whatever knowledge of etymology I possess to derive the meaning of an unknown word. But that feels so lazy when I own a smart phone...

Below are the words I had to look up. Some are so beautiful and have become new favorites. Some blogger won't even recognize as words. It keeps underlining them angrily. (Click to view the definitions).

Ailuromancy

Nomenclature

Exsanguinated

Amalgam

Antimony

Innocuous

Coalescence 

Penultimate

Auspicious

Ostensibly

Surreptitious

Ambient

Oneiromancy

Tenuous

Mercurial

Cartomancy

Carmine

Diaphanous

Incendiary

Do you have favorite words? Do you ever realize you've been using a word wrong -- for years?

fragile days

Today started rainy and soft.

I adore rainy days because they feel like a cozy, gray blanket I'm invited to wrap up in. Rainy days are invitations to cuddle, read books and eat pancakes. It felt like a mistake to leave my quilted nest to go to work.

But I went to work because I am an adult. (boo)

Today I felt fragile. Insubstantial. Breakable. Weak.

I assume we all feel fragile some days. Like a cold shoulder, frustrating encounter or one more disappointment will break our brittle spirit.

I needed hugs today. Hugs, blankets, kittens, flowers, bright stars, handwritten notes and dancing.

I didn't get any of those. But maybe the fragile days are here to show us that we are so much stronger than we think we are. Because I didn't break. I didn't shatter. And I will do it again brilliantly tomorrow.