accomplished

Someone asked me recently what accomplishments I am most proud of.

There was silence.

Because, I never finished college.
I've not traveled outside my home country.
I'm divorced when I expected only death to part us.
I'm not bilingual.
I've started and abandoned the guitar, drawing, ballet, singing, piano, sewing, theater & horseback riding.
I've never published a book and I've always wanted to.

Negativity usually fills the empty spaces in my head. I literally could not think of something I was proud of.

I hated it.

I felt inadequate. Boring. Sub par. Insubstantial. Desperate. Like my life up to this point was wasted. 26 years of pointless existence.

But I was looking at the answer all wrong.
Because I'm trustworthy. Useful. Honest. Funny. Responsible. Attentive. Not materialistic. Creative. Reliable. Hospitable. I work hard. I try to reach out to people, draw them in, build them up. I listen. I love. I have integrity.

My character is the accomplishment that I'm the most proud of.

It's intangible. There's no plaque. And I'm deeply flawed - but there is grace. Grace to keep being refined by fire.

The conversation did inspire me to set some new goals but nothing we DO is more important than who we are. Or how we make other people feel.