yeah.

I never expected that to happen to us.

imposition

Compelled to wander.

Don't settle here.

Permanence; the illusion we protect.

Fiercely.

Home is only made of concrete.

Home is not concrete.

What am I looking for?

The last goodbye.

A prized possession.

So sweet upon pink lips. 

academia

Starting school in August is comforting to me. It feels like a worn quilt; softened with age and love. A patchwork quilt for wrapping up by campfires or next to a lamp for late night reading. Familiarity. I belong in academia.

The beginning of school has always heralded my favorite part of the year; crisp, cozy, spicy fall! That's part of what gets me excited. The other part is the indulgence, the privilege of learning. I've wanted to return to school and finish my degree for years. It's strange to finally be here doing what I've hoped to.

I do miss the bustle of being on campus. Helping freshmen figure things out, greeting old friends and  planning adventures. That may return one day. But for now I'll sit here happily surrounded by books, papers and cats - barely believing I'm not dreaming.

dry

I'm using this dry shampoo today. I feel suspicious about dry shampoo just as I do about dry cleaning. As Jerry Seinfeld says, "The problem with dry cleaning is that we all believe that this is actually happening."

According to my new hair stylist I have basically spent my life abusing my hair between washing it everyday, using Tresemmé products since college, braiding it when wet and probably proving remiss in my duty to educate it culturally. So I'm trying to make up for lost time. (And bad parenting?)

But I miss the fresh scalp feeling... I cannot deny that my hair looks better but at what cost to my fragile psyche?

It's only day two...

Can you say #firstworldproblems ?

How often do you wash your hair? Do you use and like dry shampoo? If it wasn't obvious yet I'll point out that I'm not exactly into hair... Educate me.

rinse & repeat

That foolish trickster Hope.

He lures from around the corner. Enticing with baubles tied to a string

You want happiness don't you? Look how sparkly it is? Come and get it.

Held in the hand happiness is warm like a kitten. You cover it to keep it safe. To prolong it's life.

Memorizing street names and stories. Faces become familiar. Hope cracked the casing around my heart and months of root growth left me feeling strong. Roots will help you stand against the Wind.

But not tornadoes.

I see why people chase the baubles. I didn't know life could feel good. I thought that was a rumor.

But patterns are called patterns because they do not change.

3 steps forward. 15 steps back, Thrown back, head cracking against the wall.

Remember;

Pass by the pills. Don't look the bottles in the eye. Not everything has to be the same as it was before.

pants free

Sometimes you just can't be bothered to put pants on. Is pantslessness really as terrible as we act like it is? So indecent? So offensive? We all have a body, most of our bodies look pretty similar. We have the same parts.

I'm feeling lazy today - just let me check my mailbox judgement free; pants free.

a night with the shins

Wearing yoga pants we got in the car and I drove barefoot. Destination; fireworks. A last minute decision. Marty McFly in the back of our minds soon swept aside by The Shins. Through open windows the night sucked away the lyrics so fast that they barely had time to kiss our ears. No one else was kissing us anyway.

We didn't talk.

Together we were holiday orphans. No hot dogs, sparklers, potato salad or outings requiring coolers. But we had our sense of humor. And some wine. Oklahoma isn't somewhere you really want to be in July but if your blonde best friend is in the passenger seat and you drive fast enough either the heat won't catch up or you just won't notice it.

We missed the fireworks so our purpose defaulted proverbially from the destination to the journey. The word journey conjures up a purpose but we were gypsies. I've often felt like a gypsy. Is it really so terrible not to belong somewhere specific? I prefer belonging to people instead of places.